Category: Blog

Paralee Thomas and Mary Frances McGuiness are sharing a moment—like two girlfriends spending the afternoon together. Only the moment is Paralee’s 96th birthday celebration and their relationship is so much more than friends. Paralee was Mary Frances’ childhood nanny and, before that, worked in her grandmother’s house as both maid and nanny, caring for Mary Frances’ mother and uncle.

“Paralee (pronounced ‘Pearlie’) raised us,” says Mary Frances, a member of Iona’s Board of Directors who lost track of her nanny until the two reconnected at a family funeral. By then, Mary Frances, who is from New York, had relocated to the Washington area to work in wireless telecom. Paralee moved here to continue working as a housekeeper, ultimately retiring in her mid-80s. “It’s difficult to age, no matter what the circumstances, but even harder if you lack a formal education, financial stability and the support of family,” says Mary Frances, who is helping Paralee address the many challenges of growing older.

For instance, Mary Frances, along with her husband and uncle, helped their friend navigate the complex Medicaid system, which ultimately allowed her to move from a subsidized apartment in a challenging neighborhood to a senior community at Thomas Circle. “I can understand how people die in their homes while trying to figure out how federal assistance programs work,” Mary Frances says. “You feel like a rat in a maze that has no exit. I see why people give up.”

Caring for an older loved one “can be exhausting, even depressing,” she adds. “However, there is a silver lining. I have met many people—starting with the staff of Iona—who are silent heroes of our community. Iona provides one-stop shopping, they know the city and offer personalized service. If I have to go through this experience again with a family member—or should I say when I go through this again—I will know what to expect and where to turn, thanks to Iona.”

A mother of four sons, she has seven grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren, all living on the West Coast. Family members call her “Dolly.” She accompanied her father when he voted for Republican Calvin Coolidge, and has supported every Democratic candidate for President since. Last year, she met with First Lady Michelle Obama to talk about healthcare reform. When she’s not writing a weekly legislative update for the Older Women’s League, serving on the Clearinghouse on Women’s Issues and the National Council of Women’s Organizations, she enjoys her friends, participates in Iona’s activities and testifies before the City Council. At 96, her mantra is: “Age is just a number, and it’s unlisted.” Meet Ruth Nadel, the face of Iona.

Or should we say, one of many faces of Iona. From active seniors like Ruth Nadel to individuals with Alzheimer’s disease or other chronic illnesses and disabilities who participate in Iona’s Weinberg Adult Day Health, Wellness & Arts Center, Iona supports men and women as they experience the challenges and opportunities of aging. We educate, advocate and provide community-based programs and services to help people age well and live well.

The many faces of Iona include caregivers concerned about or caring for an elderly relative, advocates committed to helping members of our community with unmet needs, hundreds of volunteers who assist in the Adult Day Health, Wellness & Arts Center, deliver meals on weekends and holidays, help with errands, visit homebound seniors and provide leadership and guidance to the organization. And the face of Iona includes donors who believe in our mission to age well and live well. On the following pages, we will show you one face of Iona through the story of Ruth Nadel.

An advocate by nature, Ruth started out in her mid-50s working in the U.S. Department of Labor Women’s Bureau, the only federal agency devoted exclusively to the concerns of women. Up until then, she had many years of volunteer experience, but none as a paid professional. Ruth was among the first women recruited and hired based on the value of her volunteer work—leading the way for others who followed. Not only that, but she was honored with the Department of Labor’s Distinguished Service Award for her work designing and developing the first federal childcare center. In addition, for many years she has been a member of Iona’s Citizens Advisory Council and the D.C. Coalition on Long Term Care, which advocates on behalf of the District’s older adults and people with disabilities. She’s particularly impressed with the range of occupations and interests of members of the coalition, which includes consumers, advocates and health care providers. Ruth also represents Ward 3 on the D.C. Commission on Aging, where she works to promote the challenges of the city’s aging population, and the many services provided by the Office on Aging. Well over a dozen years ago, recognizing real needs among the aging and disabled residents of her large apartment building, she organized the beginnings of the volunteer Neighbor Network (vNN), a precursor to today’s neighborhood “villages.” “Iona was a resource then, helping to develop a questionnaire of resident’s needs and assistance, and continues to be a resource today,” she says. The Citizens Advisory Council, she says, is eager to replicate the vNN model. “I’m very impressed with Iona’s leadership role in guiding today’s aging-in-place village movement,” adds Ruth.

“I am prone to ‘fall.’ But I like summer better.” Displaying her characteristic sense of humor, Ruth recounts how she took a nasty fall in the middle of the night last December. But there’s nothing funny about the damage that tumble did, requiring months of intense physical therapy.

Ruth learned a valuable lesson that night. “I didn’t want to bother anyone,” she says. So she didn’t. “I didn’t want to cause a fuss, but in the end that’s exactly what I did,” she comments. While she notified Link to Life, she didn’t ask for their help, which she now acknowledges was a mistake. Ruth finally reached out for help in the morning and went to Sibley Hospital at a friend’s urging. An Iona Care Manager was able to develop a rehabilitation plan, providing Ruth with support and her family with peace of mind. “Over the years, I have personally referred friends and acquaintances to Iona,” she says. “No one does a better job of providing older adults and their caregivers with the opportunities and resources to age well and live well. Now I have the personal experience to back that up.” Ruth is now fully recovered, enjoying life at a D.C. retirement home and back to her old habits.

“I doodle,” says Ruth. “Always have.” As a member of the Older Women’s League and the Women’s National Democratic Club, Ruth spends countless hours attending meetings where, she confesses, she frequently finds herself doodling. Many of her favorite drawings are displayed on the walls of her kitchen. She also paints and has often enrolled in a watercolor class at a local university. “It’s important to provide seniors with opportunities to be creative,” Ruth declares. Iona knows this well, she says, noting that art therapy is an important element of Iona’s Weinberg Adult Day Health, Wellness & Arts Center and the Gallery at Iona offers important recognition and inspiration for older artists and art admirers. Ruth is particularly impressed with the variety and quality of art displayed in the Gallery— “worthy of an art critic’s review,” she observes.

Before giving a lecture on volunteerism recently, Ruth looked up the word “volunteer.”

While the formal definition is “a person who undertakes or expresses a willingness to undertake a service,” Ruth declares there’s something else. “You alone make the decision and it has to give you pleasure,” she says. It’s clear she gets personal satisfaction from serving on Iona’s Citizens’ Advisory Council and the many other organizations to which she is devoted. She also points out while many people are able to volunteer their time—whether a day a week or a day a month—nonprofit organizations like Iona also largely depend upon financial contributions. Ruth was among the hundreds of supporters who attended Iona’s Art of Caring Luncheon and the benefit concert featuring the Young@Heart chorus. “Funds from events like the concert are critically needed to make our services available to people of all income levels,” she notes. “The standing-room- only crowd is evidence of how the broader Washington community values Iona.”

Donald Burch III is among the many older adults who lack the support system traditionally provided by family. He’s single, has never had children, and is the last living member of his family. “I’m the very definition of aging solo,” says Donald.

So when he learned about Iona’s six-week education program of the same name, Donald jumped at the chance to focus on planning for the future.

Part of Iona’s Take Charge/Age Well™ Academy, “Aging Solo” covers the practical aspects of planning for your aging when you’re on your own. Sessions include important topics on writing a will (or locating an existing one, which is an issue for many people), designating a durable power of attorney, strengthening or building a support network, and managing or disposing of clutter, including family memorabilia, among other key issues.

For Donald, a retired social worker, the group provides accountability. At 59, Donald had already begun the process of “getting his affairs in order.” But, he points out, it’s a dynamic and lengthy process, and life frequently gets in the way. An avid volunteer with LGBTQ organizations, AARP, and local theaters, Donald said he needed reminders to keep him motivated. “The ‘Aging Solo’ group provides that role,” he says.

Because of the class, he has given a copy of his healthcare power of attorney to his physician and is figuring out who should have a copy of all his passwords. Donald’s also making sure that his bank has the updated information it needs using the bank’s current forms. He’s even made a list of emergency contacts that he’s posted on his refrigerator and keeps in his wallet.

“Whether you are gay or straight, as we get older we all have fewer loved ones in our lives,” Donald says. “The people you have depended on may not be there anymore. Relationships change, people get divorced, people die. It’s comforting to know others are in similar situations.” As a social worker, Donald enjoys being able to share his wisdom with the group, just as he benefits from the wisdom of others.

As soon as the series ended, Donald signed up to join its new alumni group, called “Aging Solo Action Support Group,” which allows participants to continue the discussions and friendships they formed. In addition, he feels passionate about spreading the word about “Aging Solo” to his friends and contacts who may not have taken steps to prepare for the next stage of life, may feel overwhelmed, or may be isolated. “I went into this expecting to learn about aging solo,” he says. “I came out with a larger community.”

Carl “Gregory” Everett and Carlton Washington met at Forest Haven when they were just eight years old. Both are blind and have intellectual disabilities. While they aren’t related by blood, the two men are known by family and friends as “the twins.” In their mid-sixties, they are the same height, but Carlton is a little heavier. Gregory holds onto Carlton’s  shoulders to steady himself when he walks. They live together in a Ft. Totten apartment that is part of supportive housing provided by the Department of Disability Services which allows them to live in the community but does not provide any services or programming during the day. Gregory has a photographic memory and can recite dates with remarkable recollection. Both are passionate about music.

That’s why Gregory’s sister, Karen Everett-Bivins, enrolled them in an arts-oriented day program in Northeast Washington a few years ago. But one day, when Karen made an unexpected visit, she found them alone in a corner with only a simple toy to engage them. “It was heartbreaking,” she says. They never went back. Instead, for more than a year “the twins” have been attending Iona’s Wellness & Arts Center five days a week. Or, as Gregory says: “since October 29, 2015.”

At Iona, “everyone is happy,” he says. “We  do so many different things. We do art. We paint.“ When they arrived at Iona, Carlton didn’t speak. “Something must have happened, or someone in the past told him not to speak; Gregory has always been his voice,” says Karen. But in the past year, in the safety and warmth of Iona, Carlton found his voice. It started with a whispered word or two. But now, in the company of people he’s comfortable with – such as the Wellness & Arts Center staff – his thoughts pour out in sentences. While talking about the Bureau of Engraving and Printing one day, Carlton told Karen: “That’s where they make money.”

Gregory is blossoming at Iona as well. He recently won a game of “Name That Tune” – not surprising, given his memory. (The winning answer: the Beach Boys.) Another day, he told his sister that a visitor came to the Center and “played the guitar just like Elvis.” “I didn’t even know he knew about Elvis,” she says. And she had no idea he is interested in history. Yet, one day when he came home from the Center, he told her: “Martin Luther King had a dream. He said, ‘free at last, free at last.’ ”“A whole world is opening up for them,” adds Karen. Carlton likes to mold shapes with dough, make ceramics, and bake. Gregory likes participating in conversations about current events and history discussions on topics researched by the Iona staff. At the Center, they also got to pet visiting dogs, cats, and birds — for the first time ever. After holding a puppy, Carlton exclaimed to Karen, “They have hair all over their bodies!”

“There are so many things we take for granted,” adds Karen. “Iona has provided them new experiences and new opportunities. It has revealed their hidden talents.”

Mary Beth’s  involvement with Iona began with  a simple desire to see her mother-in-law, Susan, thrive. After moving to Washington, DC to live with her son, Susan found joy in the vibrant community fostered by Iona. It wasn’t long before Mary Beth and her husband noticed a remarkable transformation in Susan—a blossoming of her personality, drawn out by the music, socialization, and engaging environment at Iona’s Wellness & Arts Center. Mary Beth explains, “Iona creates an inviting space that makes Susan feel welcome. The stimulating environment sparks her sense of humor and allows her natural social intelligence to shine.”

Curious about the magic behind Iona’s success, Mary Beth couldn’t help but ask, “What’s the secret sauce?” What she discovered was a testament to the power of community and inclusivity. “I see a lot of people — participants and staff — asking themselves, ‘How can I support this community,’” Mary Beth shares. At Iona, she experiences a palpable sense of egalitarianism between staff, participants, and volunteers.

Inspired by this spirit of generosity, Mary Beth felt grateful for the opportunity to give back to the Iona community. Offering to teach Pilates classes at the Wellness & Arts Center was her way of enhancing the well-being of the participants and fostering deeper connections with those whom Susan interacts with daily. Starting in July 2023, Mary Beth eagerly took on the role of Pilates instructor, leading classes twice a week.

For Mary Beth, teaching Pilates at Iona has been a source of fulfillment and a meaningful extension of her life’s work. Witnessing the dedication and hard work of the participants fills her with a profound sense of respect and inspiration. “I’m honored that people participate regularly and work as hard as they do.” Even if they can’t recall the name of an exercise, the muscle memory of the movements from her Pilates classes remains ingrained in their bodies—a testament to the impact she’s making, one session at a time. “It’s really heartwarming and gratifying,” says Mary Beth.

Through her teaching, Mary Beth feels blessed to be part of such a supportive and nurturing community. The connections she forges, and the moments of shared accomplishment are a constant reminder of the power of the Iona family. Teaching at Iona isn’t just about Pilates; it’s about building relationships, fostering growth, and making a difference in the lives of those we serve.

Reflecting on her own family’s experience with Iona, Mary Beth says, “Iona is our MVP, our most valuable player, because it not only gives us peace of mind during the day, but it creates a sense of community — a place to belong. Iona has changed our family life dramatically and I honestly can’t imagine our lives without the teamwork we have with Iona.”

When Marie’s uncle passed away from COVID-19, her 81-year-old mother, Classie, who had been living with her brother, was now left alone in New York State, while dealing with Alzheimer’s disease. The situation was unsustainable, and Marie made the difficult decision to move her mother to Washington, D.C. and into her home.

“I was working from home for over a year with my mother just there, wandering around. I removed her from her comfort zone, so she had some major setbacks. But I was also experiencing a lot of frustration because it was just too much  to have to work and caregive at the same time without any outlets because of COVID.”

Marie called local organizations for help and got connected with Iona, where she learned about our adult day health services at the Washington Home Center in the Congress Heights neighborhood in Southeast D.C. After visiting the program with her mother, she says, “I was very impressed with Iona and the level of care and  the  energy  of  their facility and  the  people  there.  The  programming  is  one  thing  on  paper,  but  [in-person]  the  energy and the care  that  these  individuals provided was very impressive.”

Classie also enjoyed her visit. Marie explains, “There was an immediate connection. We set up everything and basically it changed our whole life.” Classie now attends the adult day health services program Monday through Friday every week, connecting with her peers and engaging in enriching activities in a safe environment with compassionate professional care.

But Iona offers more than just services and support for older adults. We also provide support to family caregivers to help prevent the burnout that so often comes with caring for a loved one.

In 2022, Phyllis Barge, the social worker at the Iona Washington Home Center, launched a Caregiver Support Group to address the ongoing needs of caregivers, like Marie, who found the day-in and day-out caring for someone with memory loss to be challenging and isolating.

Between work and caregiving, Marie rarely had a moment to herself. Phyllis connected her with respite care and encouraged her to attend the Washington Home Center Caregiver Support Group, which meets every second Tuesday of the month. The group does various activities together, including sharing conversation and fellowship.

“When they come in, it’s on  their  faces  that they are tired and  weary.  They  have  a  lot going on because they have  their  own  lives and issues they are dealing with,” Phyllis shares.

But at the end of the support group meetings, it’s a different story. “Sometimes the group doesn’t end for an hour after I stop the conversation because they are still talking and engaging with each other.”

Marie says she looks forward to every support group meeting. “I learn something valuable at each meeting, and I never miss them.”

Reflecting on her whole experience with us, she adds, “I can’t say enough about what Iona has done and what they are doing for our population.”