Bill and Sharon’s Story

“It’s been a long six years,” says Bill Schaefer. “It’s hard to believe it’s been six years, and it’s hard not to know how long it’s going to go on.” Anyone who has cared for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease understands what Bill is talking about.

Bill and Sharon’s relationship is a story of love and loyalty. College sweethearts, married for 47 years with two grown children and two grandchildren, the Schaefers never expected that soon after they moved from their house to a condominium in a lovely, wooded neighborhood, they would learn that the agitation Sharon had been experiencing was Alzheimer’s. She was 63.

“From the start, I’ve tried to support Sharon in having the best life she can in spite of this,” Bill says. Needless to say, it hasn’t been easy. Gradually, their social world has narrowed dramatically. Friends stopped calling. One exception is Mary Lou Mcgee, an Iona Board of Associates member who walks with Sharon every week, just as they have for 30 years.

When Sharon was first diagnosed, one doctor gave Bill a book for caregivers with a title that said it all: The 36-Hour Day. “I’m tired,” he admits one morning, having been up the night before with Sharon, who also has type I diabetes. To maintain some balance in his life, he meditates for 30 minutes every morning. He recently rejoined a book club.

He has also arranged for Sharon to attend Iona’s Adult Day Health, Wellness & Arts Center two days a week, which allows him to meet friends for lunch, catch up on paperwork or just be by himself.

Prompted by Bill, Sharon—a former psychotherapist—offers her own take on the center. “I’m a booster!” she says. “it’s just got welcome all over it.” A recent New York Times article revealed that creating positive emotional experiences for Alzheimer’s patients diminishes stress and behavioral problems. The Schaefer’s son gave a copy of the article to his dad, with a note saying “that’s what you give mom.”

Bill gives Iona a lot of credit. “The center staff couldn’t be a more supportive and positive group, Bill says. “It radiates good will which, in turn, is picked up and radiated back by the participants.”

One staff member told him recently, “Even when Sharon gets agitated, she always resets to happy,” said Bill, who agrees. “After a day at Iona, she is more outgoing and has more energy. I’ve seen how the program lifts her spirits.”