Donald’s Story

Donald Burch III is among the many older adults who lack the support system traditionally provided by family. He’s single, has never had children, and is the last living member of his family. “I’m the very definition of aging solo,” says Donald.

So when he learned about Iona’s six-week education program of the same name, Donald jumped at the chance to focus on planning for the future.

Part of Iona’s Take Charge/Age Well™ Academy, “Aging Solo” covers the practical aspects of planning for your aging when you’re on your own. Sessions include important topics on writing a will (or locating an existing one, which is an issue for many people), designating a durable power of attorney, strengthening or building a support network, and managing or disposing of clutter, including family memorabilia, among other key issues.

For Donald, a retired social worker, the group provides accountability. At 59, Donald had already begun the process of “getting his affairs in order.” But, he points out, it’s a dynamic and lengthy process, and life frequently gets in the way. An avid volunteer with LGBTQ organizations, AARP, and local theaters, Donald said he needed reminders to keep him motivated. “The ‘Aging Solo’ group provides that role,” he says.

Because of the class, he has given a copy of his healthcare power of attorney to his physician and is figuring out who should have a copy of all his passwords. Donald’s also making sure that his bank has the updated information it needs using the bank’s current forms. He’s even made a list of emergency contacts that he’s posted on his refrigerator and keeps in his wallet.

“Whether you are gay or straight, as we get older we all have fewer loved ones in our lives,” Donald says. “The people you have depended on may not be there anymore. Relationships change, people get divorced, people die. It’s comforting to know others are in similar situations.” As a social worker, Donald enjoys being able to share his wisdom with the group, just as he benefits from the wisdom of others.

As soon as the series ended, Donald signed up to join its new alumni group, called “Aging Solo Action Support Group,” which allows participants to continue the discussions and friendships they formed. In addition, he feels passionate about spreading the word about “Aging Solo” to his friends and contacts who may not have taken steps to prepare for the next stage of life, may feel overwhelmed, or may be isolated. “I went into this expecting to learn about aging solo,” he says. “I came out with a larger community.”