Month: December 2025

“It’s been a long six years,” says Bill Schaefer. “It’s hard to believe it’s been six years, and it’s hard not to know how long it’s going to go on.” Anyone who has cared for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease understands what Bill is talking about.

Bill and Sharon’s relationship is a story of love and loyalty. College sweethearts, married for 47 years with two grown children and two grandchildren, the Schaefers never expected that soon after they moved from their house to a condominium in a lovely, wooded neighborhood, they would learn that the agitation Sharon had been experiencing was Alzheimer’s. She was 63.

“From the start, I’ve tried to support Sharon in having the best life she can in spite of this,” Bill says. Needless to say, it hasn’t been easy. Gradually, their social world has narrowed dramatically. Friends stopped calling. One exception is Mary Lou Mcgee, an Iona Board of Associates member who walks with Sharon every week, just as they have for 30 years.

When Sharon was first diagnosed, one doctor gave Bill a book for caregivers with a title that said it all: The 36-Hour Day. “I’m tired,” he admits one morning, having been up the night before with Sharon, who also has type I diabetes. To maintain some balance in his life, he meditates for 30 minutes every morning. He recently rejoined a book club.

He has also arranged for Sharon to attend Iona’s Adult Day Health, Wellness & Arts Center two days a week, which allows him to meet friends for lunch, catch up on paperwork or just be by himself.

Prompted by Bill, Sharon—a former psychotherapist—offers her own take on the center. “I’m a booster!” she says. “it’s just got welcome all over it.” A recent New York Times article revealed that creating positive emotional experiences for Alzheimer’s patients diminishes stress and behavioral problems. The Schaefer’s son gave a copy of the article to his dad, with a note saying “that’s what you give mom.”

Bill gives Iona a lot of credit. “The center staff couldn’t be a more supportive and positive group, Bill says. “It radiates good will which, in turn, is picked up and radiated back by the participants.”

One staff member told him recently, “Even when Sharon gets agitated, she always resets to happy,” said Bill, who agrees. “After a day at Iona, she is more outgoing and has more energy. I’ve seen how the program lifts her spirits.”

Iona’s caregivers’ support group for adult children “has been my calm in the midst of a storm,” says Eric Rosenberg, who struggles with the challenges of caring for an aging parent with dementia, navigating relationships with siblings who may not always see eye-to-eye and feelings about living far away from his mother. “While I am active in a variety of activities and organizations—from synagogue to cycling—Iona has become an unexpected yet welcome anchor in my life.”

The youngest of four, Eric grew up in Long Island. His mother was a housewife, his father a physician. He lost his dad in 1991. Then, in 2007, his mother Edith moved to Michigan to be near her oldest daughter. Not long after, she was diagnosed with dementia. “Once it starts, it’s a one-way street,” says Eric quietly.

Being 500 miles away in Washington, he felt alone and overwhelmed, with nowhere to turn. That is until the day he was driving through D.C. and saw the Iona sign outside the Isabella Breckinridge building. His curiosity led him inside, where he was greeted by two friendly staff members who listened intently to his story, handed him a copy of Iona’s Resource Guide and told him about the support group for adult children. “Their encouragement gave me hope,” says Eric. “If Iona did nothing else but give people hope and produce the resource guide, it would be enough,” he says. The book is “a goldmine of information.”

Eric rarely misses the bi-monthly support group, which is led by licensed clinical social worker Donna Tanner. (Iona also offers support groups for caregivers of spouses/partners with dementia, an Alzheimer’s Association caregivers support group, a group for people diagnosed with early stage memory loss and the people who care about them, a Parkinson’s group and one for people with low vision.) “Donna brings a quiet dignity to our group,” says Eric, adding that she validates everyone’s experience and is nonjudgmental. “The staff of Iona doesn’t care if you are Black, white, Jewish, Christian, gay, straight. Once you are there, it’s like getting a big hug. it’s a safe place to be.”

Eric says he has learned two key lessons from the support group. First “if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of someone else.” Secondly, “caregiving should start before the need becomes obvious.” In other words, don’t wait for a crisis. Reflecting back on his own experience, Eric regrets he didn’t take a more proactive role after his father died and left a large void in his mother’s life. If anything, he hopes others can learn from his experience, and from Iona.

Elaine Kim is what you might call a late bloomer. an English major, after college she worked as a marketing and sales professional with a technology company. But she didn’t feel that job took full advantage of her skills or strengths.

“I’ve always enjoyed connecting with people one-on-one,” says Elaine, who is in her 30s. At the same time, friends have pointed out she is a good listener. At church, she was drawn to older members of the congregation. One of them in particular, a 93-year old World War II veteran, “exuded the spirit and joy of a kid,” she recalls. “I was in awe of the way he lived his life—with no regrets. He ultimately passed, but his spirit stayed with me.”

By that time, Elaine had enrolled in a social work program at the University of Maryland-Baltimore. As part of her studies, last fall she began an internship at Iona where her responsibilities include providing care management, counseling and advocacy for clients. She also helps staff Iona’s Low Vision Support Group. “Elaine is very caring,” says facilitator Elly Waters. “If she senses someone needs special attention, she will call and see how they are doing.”

Working at Iona has exposed Elaine to a model of service that balances respect for self-determination with protection of vulnerable older adults. “It’s an innovative way of thinking about geriatric care,” says Elaine who is focused both on assessing a client’s risks and needs and his or her strengths, ultimately trying to find the best way to play to those strengths.

As for Iona’s strengths, Kim says the organization “never loses sight of its mission, its vision and its goal of serving the community,” she says. “They have put and continue to put every tool in place to help staff achieve these goals. It’s obvious that every person who works here, from the bottom to the top, cares about the work they are doing. This is inspiring to me as an aspiring social worker.”

“Many of our members are caring for aging parents or neighbors,” says associate Pastor Steve Robertson of chevy chase Presbyterian church. “Our role is to make sure we are doing everything we can to offer the support and encouragement needed to perform these duties well.”

Steve works with the church’s deacons, whose assignments include visiting homebound congregants— from parents of newborns to frail seniors. in recent years, the pastor has worked to “strengthen the conversation with our deacons around their work with older adults.” Recognizing that these lay leaders are not formally trained as case managers, Robertson says, “my hope is they will be critical listeners and direct our members to useful resources in the community.”

One of the most valuable resources is Iona’s Deborah Rubenstein. a licensed clinical social worker and attorney, Deb has 15 years of experience as a geriatric care manager and psychotherapist. In her role as Iona’s Director of Consultation, Care Management and Counseling, Deb and her skilled staff frequently lead trainings at congregations.

In fact, Iona’s relationship with the faith community goes back to its founding 36 years ago when three local churches (St. Columba’s episcopal, St. Ann’s Roman Catholic and Eldbrooke United Methodist) joined forces to create an organization that would provide information to people in need. Soon after, Iona’s board voted to focus on older adults, regardless of their ability to pay. Today, 33 faith communities are part of the Iona family.

Increasingly, congregations are turning to Iona to learn how to support aging members and their caregivers. Paula Jennings was on hand recently when Deb spoke to a group at chevy chase Presbyterian. The discussion focused on a broad range of issues from progressive care to the emotional toll on caregivers. “Iona made it comfortable to speak openly and to ask questions—no matter how poignant they were,” said Paula. “By the end of the presentation, I was not only considering the needs of my mother and mother- in-law, but beginning to think ahead to a time when my husband and I would be facing our own issues relating to aging.”

Mildred Howard has always worried about older sister Jessie Fulwood, who lost her sight as a child. Those worries increased when Mildred, who every day drove across town on her way to work to check on her sibling, discovered Jessie was being neglected by her caregivers. That is when Mildred invited Jessie to move in with her and husband Curtis Howard.

Soon after, Mildred enrolled her 76-year-old sister in Iona’s harry and Jeanette Weinberg Adult Day health, Wellness and arts center, which serves seniors with dementia, other chronic conditions and disabilities. Medicaid and support from Iona’s generous donors cover the cost of Jessie’s participation.

“Jessie Mae needs to be in a pro- gram rather than sitting at home all day with nothing to do,” says Mildred. “The people are real nice, she participates in activities such as art therapy and exercise which she wouldn’t have access to otherwise and two nurses monitor her blood pressure.”

“The center is good for both of us,” adds Mildred, 61. “it gives me the flexibility and independence to live my life and it’s a good fit for Jessie Mae.” how does she know? “Because she’s a chatterbox,” laughs the younger sister. “Every night at dinner, she tells us about the other participants, the staff and nurses. Clearly, she’s in good hands.”

Iona “goes above and beyond the call of duty,” adds Mildred. This winter, when they were without water for several days because of burst pipes, Iona saw to it that Jessie Mae had access to meals she normally would have had at home. “You don’t find programs like that,” adds Mildred.