Seriously? It’s “Senior Citizens Day?” In 2017? Didn’t we bury that term along with disco dancing and polyester leisure suits? Sigh.

Old habits, old prejudices, old labels may be denounced but that doesn’t mean they will fade away. Does it matter? You bet it does. Is there a better way to refer to someone who is older? I hope so. Do we have a term or a name that appeals to everyone over a certain age? Not a chance.

Back in the day when I was a new employee at Iona (over 30 years ago now!) I probably used “senior citizen” just like everyone else. I know many people didn’t like the label even then. Why did we single out, or put brackets, around this amazing, diverse, and often very productive age group? Solely because older adults may face new challenges as they age? At what transition in life are you NOT faced with new challenges?

Over the years, what I’ve learned is that the names, terms, and labels we use are symptoms of something much bigger: ageism.

As many of you know, ageism is rampant in this country. Finding good jobs when you’re over 50, much less 70, is often difficult if not impossible. Just getting someone to serve you in a store when you’re older can be a challenge. There are so many big and little things. Just yesterday, I was looking at greeting cards and found (much to my anger) that there are still birthday cards with white-haired people on the front. The tag line? “I pooped today!” Not. Funny.

Unfortunately, like many other deep-rooted stereotypes, ageism can be difficult to pinpoint or acknowledge. Just recently, I read an article about ageism and realized that I’m guilty sometimes too.

For instance, I’ve said to people who I thought looked younger than their biological years of age that they look great because they look younger. That’s so wrong. If someone looks good, age shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be the focus of why they look good.

My mother is 94 and people are often telling her how amazing and wonderful she is. I think it’s because of her attitude towards life: her spirit and her positive approach are inspiring.

She seems to think that it is just because she has survived to 94 and is still capable of having articulate conversations, being involved in her community, and keeping up with the news of the world. The ‘compliments’ aren’t so complementary when you think about them that way.

Unfortunately, I don’t have easy solutions to many of the challenges we face today and in the future. But I do know that we have to work, in big and small ways, to change our approach to aging and the language we use.

So today on “Senior Citizens Day” (ugh), I’m making a pledge to listen to my community and older neighbors. I pledge to think carefully about the words I use when it comes to talking about and with older people.

I pledge to let businesses and individuals know that we don’t like being called ‘honey’ or considered ‘cute’ because we care about how we look when we’re in our nineties or hold hands with our partner in public.

I pledge to share stories that remind our community that we’re capable of doing good work in our sixties and seventies and beyond, and society is wasting a tremendous resource when we dismiss older people as not having value.

I pledge to continue seeking articles and conversations that encourage me to think about my own prejudices.

And, I hope you’ll join me by making these pledges too, or adding your own. Click on the button below to add your name.

Add your name: Take the pledge now to fight ageism

By Sally S. White

Sally joined Iona as an intake specialist in 1986. Since that time, she has worn many hats including deputy director of programs and services, director of Iona’s adult day health center, director of quality management and — since 2009 — executive director.  With a strong commitment to advocacy and improving the quality of life for all older residents of the District and beyond, Sally is instrumental in the leadership of the city-wide DC Senior Advisory Coalition, which she co-chairs, and the DC Coalition on Long Term Care. 

We hear far too often from family caregivers that they wish they had prepared earlier, started the difficult conversations sooner, or discussed their loved one’s wishes before a health crisis.

While difficult, planning ahead and preparing now can ensure you or a loved one receives the care you want in the future. That’s why we encourage everyone to complete a healthcare advance directive.

Healthcare advance directives are legal forms where you can share your future healthcare and end-of-life care wishes with medical professionals and family members or friends. These forms may include living wills and/or powers-of-attorney (more on that below).

While health care advance directives may be completed with or without an attorney’s assistance, if you have concerns that are not addressed in basic templates, you might consider consulting with an attorney to draft something customized. An attorney can also help answer any specific legal terms or issues.

Healthcare advance directives typically include information on:

• Specific medical preferences
• Aging-in-place or legacy preferences
• Your assigned trusted individual for any healthcare decision-making, in the case that you are no longer physically or cognitively able to make such decisions

Additionally, a Power of Attorney, Advance Medical Directive, and Last Will and Testament may also be part of your advance planning. All are very important to obtain while you’re in good health and sound mind.

Power of Attorney (POA)

This document appoints a specific person chosen in advance to handle someone’s financial matters if they are unable to do so. In Washington, DC POA documents do not have to be drawn up by an attorney, as the statue provides a template. However, a financial power of attorney must be notarized.

The POA is empowered to take over a person’s financial affairs – such as making sure bills are paid on time – when the person can no longer handle his or her own business matters. For older adults with no family, the POA is often a trusted friend who agrees in advance to take on this responsibility. With a POA document, a person is able to choose who will help him or her if they become incapacitated. Without a legally valid POA, a petition often is filed in court to name a Guardian to handle the incapacitated person’s affairs. The Guardian almost always is a lawyer and a stranger appointed by a judge.

Advance Medical Directive (sometimes called a Living Will, or healthcare/medical power of attorney)

This document spells out exactly what sort of medical care a person would wish to have if they were not able to speak for her or himself. If someone went into the emergency room unconscious after a fall, for example, the Advance Medical Directive would tell doctors whether or not the person wanted feeding tubes or life support measures. A healthcare power of attorney does not have to be notarized, but it must be witnessed by two adult witnesses, one of whom cannot be related to the person preparing the document.

Last Will & Testament

This document specifies a person’s wishes for what should happen to their property after they die. The District of Columbia does not require a will to be prepared by an attorney; however, in some instances using an attorney is strongly advised.

You can find advance directive forms available online:

• Free (state-specific) forms are available from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization here.
• Low-cost forms (valid in multiple states) are available in various languages from Aging with Dignity here.

A Geriatric Care Manager or Aging Life Care Expert can also help with planning ahead.

Share your experiences with starting a conversation or planning for your healthcare in the comments!

My new neighbor is renting for the first time.

Even though we are in two different generations — I always enjoy seeing her and hearing about her world. Like many in her age group, she enjoys eating out — and is a regular with her own table at a nearby restaurant.

She is always busy, and is never without an adventure to share. A play or movie she has seen or a lecture she has heard. And her biggest adventure is yet to come…an African safari this fall!

But she is not who you think she is. She is not a millennial, not even close. She is a DC senior — and well north of my 65 —  who swapped her DC house for an apartment on Connecticut Avenue.

And you can be a renter too!

As a long-time renter and member of Iona’s Citizens Advisory Group (listed third here) I’ve gathered these resources to help current or new DC renters. Take a look below:

First, did you know that DC has an agency just for you?

The Office of the Tenant Advocate (OTA)
The Reeves Center
2000 14^th Street, NW  Suite 300 North
Washington, DC  20009
(202) 719-6560
https://ota.dc.gov/ 

• Attend a free OTA renter’s rights workshop on Wednesday, August 30 from 6-8 PM. Call or e-mail delores.anderson@dc.gov to register.
• Make an appointment with an OTA case manager for a free lease review or get help with your rental housing questions.

Online DC Renter Handbook

Can’t make it to the OTA renters rights workshop or Summit? You can learn about your renter’s rights in the convenience of your home.

The Coalition for Non-Profit Housing has an online copy of the 2013 Washington DC Tenant Survival Guide, Eighth Edition for download. Access it here.

The Guide includes easy-to-understand sections on your renter legal rights including leases, security deposits, evictions, housing code standards, repairs and renter resources.

High-Rise Life Column in the Forest Hills Connection e-magazine

Read about living in multi-unit housing. Articles cover everything from the latest news to how-to make a balcony garden or live with pets in a high-rise building. Visit here to read the High-Rise Life Column.

Do you have other valuable renting resources? Let us know in the comments!

By Barbara B. Cline

Barbara B. Cline, CPA, is a former auditor and non-profit executive. She is a SERVEDC Commissioner, where she works on the emergency planning task force. She lives with her husband, who has some physical challenges, in an apartment in NW, DC.  Barbara is a fair housing and disability rights advocate and writes articles on housing issues — including rent-control, an often unknown and misunderstood type of affordable DC housing, for both Iona and the Forest Hills Connection. 

When I first joined Iona’s team in 2013, I was happy to learn so many of my colleagues are, like me, avid readers. In fact, today I get some of my best book recommendations during my lunch break, sitting around Iona’s lunchroom table and discussing favorites.

So, after I learned National Book Lovers Day is coming up on August 9th, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to poll the team and share their recommendations.

In honor of National Book Lovers Day, here are some staff picks. Happy reading!

Donna Tanner, one of our psychotherapists who also leads support groups, suggests:

• H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald. This memoir describes Helen’s year of working through grief after her father’s unexpected death when she was a youngish adult. She describes her experiences training a goshawk as how she is able to finally work through her debilitating grief.
• This is a Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett. This is a collection of essays that Ann has written over the years that have appeared in magazines. They are personal and revelatory. She gives an unapologetic critique of her motivations and describes ordinary people in her life who have had a lasting influence.
• My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout. Although a novel, it reads like a memoir. The narrator investigates her past in the service of trying to understand herself and why she is who she is. If you liked Olive Kitteridge, you will likely enjoy this.

Donna’s praise for these is high. She says she had read and listened to all three and wants to read them all again!

Geriatric care manager Carol Kaplun recommends:

• Gratitude by Oliver Sacks. This is neurologist/author Sacks’ last book, written just before he died. Carol says she was surprised to discover that it’s not an end-of-life story, but a testimonial filled with gratitude and wonder for his life experiences and challenges.

Many people are talking about A Man Called Ove, by Fredrick Backman, but Deb Rubenstein, our clinical director, wants to give a shout-out to another book by Backman:

• My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry. In this novel, a young girl named Elsa is bereft upon the death of her grandmother, her only friend, a woman who each night told Elsa amazing stories that made her feel better about being different. She discovers that her grandmother had left behind letters, letters that magically bring to life the fairy tale world of those night-time stories. Deb, and others, call this a charming and warm-hearted novel.

Finally, I offer three very different selections, each of which I enjoyed a great deal:

• The Jersey Brothers by Sally Mott Freeman. The true story of three brothers, each of whom served in WWII. One ran FDR’s fabled Map Room – locus of war planning in the White House. Another was an officer on the U.S.S. Enterprise, a ship that was at sea during the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 and so was able to battle the Japanese for years. And the third, the youngest brother, was taken captive by the Japanese and held in terrible P.O.W. camps in the Philippines. The book is about the older brothers’ attempts to find their baby brother amidst the chaos and horror of the war in the Pacific.
• Best Boy by Eli Gottlieb. Unique novel told from the perspective of a 53-year-old man with autism who has lived in a facility for 40 years and what happens when a staff member arrives that he does not trust. Gottlieb himself has an older brother with autism for whom he is the guardian, and so the book is infused with understanding of residential life for disabled adults as well as the challenges individuals and families face. It’s actually an uplifting and hopeful book.
• A Strangeness in My Mind by Orhan Pamuk. Translated from the Turkish edition, the story follows the life of high school dropout and yogurt-seller Mevlut in Istanbul from the 1960s to present day. Mevlut spent three years writing love letters to a girl from his village, only to find out on the night they eloped, that he had been writing to her sister. One would think this would be a tragedy, but it is not. Mevlut falls in love, they marry, and have two daughters. But Mevlut’s life as a street vendor is hard and family dynamics make his life even more difficult. I loved diving in to the ever-changing world of Istanbul and came to love Mevlut.

What are you reading? If you have suggestions for books you recommend, leave them in the comments! There’s nothing better than learning about new books to read.

By Susan A. Messina

Susan is Iona’s Director of Development and Communications. She holds three master’s degrees, including two from Bryn Mawr’s Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research, and is a Certified Fund Raising Executive.