Did you know May 16, 2018 is National Honor our LGBT Elders Day? Created by the LGBT Heath Resource Center of Chase Brexton Health Care, this day is a chance to bring awareness and appreciation to the lives and contributions of LGBT older adults.

Although LGBT older adults face the same challenges of aging as everyone else, these challenges are compounded by issues specific to their LGBT status. Due to facing lifelong legal and social discrimination, many LGBT older adults experience economic insecurity, lack of housing, lack of healthcare, lack of legal family ties and informal support networks, social isolation, pressure to re-closet in order to access services, and varied other difficulties.

These experiences are not uniform throughout the LGBT older adult community, either.

Bisexual older adults may face increased social isolation and resulting health issues. Transgender older adults have specific medical needs and may lack care and financial support. And LGBT older adults of color, currently a fast-growing fifth of LGBT older adults, face unique challenges due to these intersecting identities, including higher risks of economic insecurity, poor physical and mental health, and discrimination.

For these reasons, though, LGBT older adults are incredibly strong and resilient. And many share a positive outlook on the status of LGBT equality today, having personally lived through and fought for the progress made over the last several decades.

Do you have an important LGBT older adult in your life? Take a moment on May 16 to talk to them – whether to honor their contributions, listen to their experiences, or just to check in and spend time together.

If you are an LGBT older adult, consider coming to Silver Pride – an information and socializing event for LGBTQ people over 60! The event is Wednesday, May 30 from 2-7:30 PM at the Human Rights Campaign building. More information and registration is available here on the Iona website!

By Indy Weinstein.

Indy Weinstein is an intern at Iona. They graduated from St. Mary’s College of Maryland last year with a BA in History, and are excited to learn about nonprofit management and aging. 

June is Pride Month across the United States, when communities, organizations, and individuals celebrate lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) people and culture.

Iona is proud to be committed to outreach to older members of the LGBTQ community.

This spring, American University student Yan Shi shot a short video focusing on the needs of older LGBTQ adults. It features interviews with Iona volunteer Wes Morrison and me.

• Watch and hear Wes’ thoughts on losing more than 100 friends to the HIV/AIDS epidemic and how families of choice are so important.
• Listen as I share my thoughts about social isolation, estrangement from families of origin, and how valuable it is for younger LGBTQ folks to reach out to the older generations.

One big problem is that older LGBTQ adults fear discrimination. They are afraid to come out, being unsure of how they will be received. They often do something we call “re-closeting”— meaning, denying their true sexual orientation or gender identity for fear that a senior services organization, nursing home, or home health aide might treat them poorly.

Iona doesn’t want anyone to have to live in that fear or to go back in the closet. Iona has beefed up our “rainbow” expression in several ways:

• Our website has information geared specifically to this population.
• A colorful “Pride No Matter Your Age” banner hangs prominently in the lobby.
• Printed materials have photos that include same-sex couples, and we’ve included stories about LGBTQ people in our annual reports.
• Staff have gone through cultural competency training.

We’ve also been at the Capital Pride Festival for the past three years. We always have an interactive, colorful, and fun booth that attracts lots of attention. While the Pride crowd tends to be younger, we still have people in their 50s, 60s, and 70s stopping by.

This year, we asked people to leave advice for their younger selves and more than 300 people participated. Read some of our favorite answers here.

Iona’s offered special Take Charge/Age Well Academy™ classes for people who identify as LGBTQ. We plan to offer more in the future.

If you’d like to receive information about LGBTQ-related programming here at Iona, please send an email to me at smessina@iona.org and I’ll be sure you are kept in the loop.

Happy Pride!

By Susan A. Messina

Susan is Iona’s Director of Development and Communications. She holds three master’s degrees, including two from Bryn Mawr’s Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research, and is a Certified Fund Raising Executive.

 

This summer, Iona proudly participated in our third Capital Pride Festival. At the event, we asked attendees to share advice to their younger selves on colorful notecards. Answers ranged from the hilarious (“don’t get a bad tattoo – think it through!”) to the powerful (“Be brave enough to say YES!”).

Many messages spoke of courage and pride. Others encouraged their younger selves to trust themselves and come out earlier. Some had practical advice about saving money. All of them showcased the resiliency, humor, hope, and love within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) community.

With nearly 365 responses, here are some of our favorite words of wisdom from Capital Pride:

What Advice Do You Have for Your Younger Self?

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you truly need it. Your mental health is not a burden.
2. Self-care is radical.
3. There is no such thing as a “right path.”
4. Cut your hair. Mom won’t be that upset.
5. Don’t sweat the small stuff!
6. Love yourself through all your phases.
7. Confidence will take you everywhere (P.S. Hats are always cool!)
8.  Have fun and don’t date Philip.
9. Learn something new every day. Love more!
10. The sky is NOT the limit. Go beyond!!
11. Eat Well! Love Well! Live Well!
12. Do more good more often. Do less bad less often. You know the difference.
13. Focus on your art and music. It will make you happier.
14. Wear your retainer.
15.  It’s OK to just be OK.
16. Be yourself and surround yourself with good friends.
17. When things look down, don’t worry. Be yourself!
18. Be more confident (and throw away those cargo shorts).
19. Focus on making you happy.
20. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

Do you have advice for your younger self? Let us know in the comments!

• “The Changer and the Changed”
• Audre Lorde
• Holly Near
• MichFest
• Softball leagues
• Women’s bars
• bell hooks
• Women’s bookstores
• Rubyfruit Jungle
• Dykes on Bikes
• Olivia Records
• Jennifer Finney Boylan
• Stone Butch Blues
• Kate Bornstein
• The Lavender Menace
• “Desert Hearts”

Any of those sound familiar to you?

If so, I’m betting you are a woman who identifies as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer (LGBTQ) and came of age – and came out – sometime in the 1970s or 1980s, plus or minus half a decade.

And that means you are likely somewhere in your mid-50s to mid-70s, am I right?

I’m 53; my wife is 65. I’ve worked at Iona now for more than three years and I see every day what it means when people face the challenges of aging. Sure, there are opportunities – many of them – but it’s short-sighted to pretend that money, housing, illness, social isolation, and other problems aren’t real.

There’s been a fair amount written about the unique histories and needs of older LGBTQ folks, including this good summary published by my colleague at Iona, Leland Kiang, who runs Iona’s Information & Referral Helpline.

However, I have hope! I know that with early-on attention to these matters, some crises can be averted. While every LGBTQ woman has her own experiences, there are some commonalities that come to the fore when planning for retirement and post-retirement. There’s also lots of evidence that reducing social isolation has important health benefits.

With all this in mind, I’m proud to tell you that Iona is offering our first-ever Take Charge/Age Well Academy class for older women who identify as LGBTQ. It will meet four Thursdays from 5-7 PM in March (9, 16, 23, and 31) at Iona’s office in Tenleytown (42nd and Albemarle Streets NW). I will be facilitating the program, along with Alayna Waldrum, Coordinator of the Senior Advisory Coalition hosted by Iona. We are both lesbians, and some of our presenters are also members of the LGBTQ community; others are just wonderful allies.

In four sessions, we will explore:

• A roadmap to aging well (an ice-breaking, interactive session about the factors that contribute to aging well –and not so well)
• Advance planning (wills, powers of attorney, healthcare documents)
• Aging in place (i.e., can I remain living where I’m living?)
• Healthy living and health advocacy (cancer detection, self-advocacy)

The class will be intentionally small so that good conversations and connections can develop. I hope that you will join us.

Register now online and save $15. Questions? Contact me at (202) 895-9401 or smessina@iona.org

And please help us spread the word about this class by sharing this blog post with friends.

By Susan A. Messina

Susan is Iona’s Director of Development and Communications. She holds three master’s degrees, including two from Bryn Mawr’s Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research, and is a Certified Fund Raising Executive.