Peter’s Story

Caring for a loved one after an illness or injury is challenging under any circumstances. For Peter Kou, caring for his beloved wife Maybelle after she had a stroke and developed dementia—all while navigating the pandemic and living on a fixed income—led to his breaking point. Thankfully, Iona has eased the couple’s burdens in multiple ways.

Natives of Hong Kong, the Kous, both 80, had impressive careers in architecture and clinical research that took them to Great Britain and the U.S. But life changed for both of them when Maybelle suffered a stroke.

Up to that point, “we were completely independent,” Peter says. As his wife’s physical and cognitive challenges worsened, caregiving became increasingly difficult.

Peter had a home health aide and physical therapist to help take care of Maybelle, but at the height of the pandemic, he let them go out of precaution, taking on all caregiving duties himself.

Reflecting on that time, he remembers, “I don’t know how I managed.”

At his lowest point, exhausted and dehydrated, Peter ended up in the emergency room.

Like many caregivers, Peter wasn’t used to asking for help and was unfamiliar with what supports were available to the couple. When Maybelle was discharged from the hospital, someone handed Peter a list of telephone numbers, but “they didn’t tell me what to ask or what services were available,” he says.

Referrals from a friend and another social service organization led him to Iona—and much-needed support.

“Peter was valiantly providing all of Maybelle’s care,” says Senior Nutrition Program Manager Rose Clifford. “He is so devoted to her, and, as a result, was not caring for himself.”

First, Iona arranged for home-delivered meals for the couple so Peter didn’t have to do all the cooking. Rose also provided nutritional counseling and supplements for Maybelle, who, like many people with dementia, has trouble swallowing. Since then, Maybelle has gained weight and her appetite has improved.

Rose calls regularly to check on the Kous. Peter tells her about Maybelle’s health and confides in her about how he is feeling —“both the ups and the downs.” Peter says it gives him a great sense of comfort knowing he has someone to talk to.

“Iona is helping to ensure Maybelle is comfortable and has her dignity as I say my long goodbye,” says Peter, who hopes in the future to be able to give back to the organization. “I’d like to show my appreciation to the compassionate staff and friendly volunteers by someday volunteering to help another family in their moment of need.”