Noreen & Murray’s Story

Murray Howder has lived in his two-story, prairie-style house off Connecticut Avenue since 1966. Now 89 and living with Parkinson’s disease, mild dementia, and a heart condition, he has one remaining wish: to die in his beloved home. Iona Care Manager Randy Smith and Murray’s niece, Noreen Holcomb, have partnered over the last three years to make sure that his wish comes true.

Noreen, 59, hasn’t had an easy time as a caregiver. Not only is she the primary caregiver for Murray —whom she calls “Uncle Moo”— she also takes care of her 86-year-old mother, who has had five strokes, and her 36-year-old daughter, who is blind and has a neuromuscular disease.

Through all this, Randy Smith has stood by Noreen’s side every step of the way, providing guidance, information, and support as she cares for her uncle. He describes Murray’s situation as one of the toughest he has seen in more than a decade at Iona. “Murray did everything right during his life,” Randy says. But as Murray got older, his health failed, his expenses went up, and he watched his bank account dwindle. Living out his remaining days in his home seemed like less and less of a possibility.

At the same time, Noreen often found her caregiving responsibilities draining and exhausting.

“Sometimes I don’t know how I do it,” said Noreen. “God has given me a generous and supportive husband. I have fantastic friends. And I have Randy — who does things I couldn’t possibly do.”

Randy helped Murray access Senior MedEXpress, which provides free taxi rides to medical appointments. He arranged for home-delivered meals, shopped for essentials such as toiletries and food, and coordinated visitor parking passes for Murray’s round-the-clock nurses and home health aides. He also visited Murray during times when it was hard for Noreen to leave her other family members.

About a year ago, Randy addressed Murray’s financial challenges and desire to age in his home by suggesting Noreen obtain a reverse mortgage to help finance her uncle’s 24-hour home care, which costs about $100,000 a year. Since then, the solution has allowed Murray to continue receiving the care he needs at home.

Meanwhile, Noreen has peace of mind knowing that she always has someone to lean on. “It would be difficult — perhaps impossible — for me to take care of Uncle Moo without the help of Iona,” she says. “Iona has given me an incredible gift by supporting my uncle’s desire to live, and die, at home.”